by Greg Santos, August 13th, 2008
Many years later, as he faced the press junket, McCain was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover bubblegum ice-cream
John McCain was born on the same day as Michael Jackson.
As a boy, McCain frolicked amid the fragrant hollyhock.
At a Sunday School picnic, McCain was chagrined over the charring of his marshmallow.
On his 13th birthday, McCain was knocked unconscious by a rogue pinata.
Before long, McCain supped upon bowl after bowl of Lucky Charms. Alone.
Sometimes, when no one was looking, McCain cheated at Mad Libs.
Whilst sipping on a mimosa, McCain experienced a frisson before his mother's china hutch.
The next day, McCain leapt across a manhole with marked coolness.
Over time, McCain discovered his hidden talent for shadow puppetry.
At age twenty-eight, McCain eyed his mailbox with unbridled malice.
One evening, McCain awoke in a panic, unsure whether to use Head & Shoulders or Pert Plus.
On Wednesday, McCain was full of woe.
Behind the curtain, McCain gnawed introspectively upon a baby-back rib.
Two days ago, McCain strode confidently towards his expired medication.
At day break, McCain was especially amused at the sight of the Weather Network.
At 11:47 am, McCain recovered his self-possession via Overeaters Anonymous.
At high noon, McCain consumed his penultimate shawarma.
On this fateful day, McCain stood athwart the cheese aisle.
by Greg Santos, August 5th, 2008